Wednesday 1 May 2013

'Dad', 'Journey' & 'A Writer' by R.T.



Dad
           by R.T.

A reluctant farmer; a lovely man. He could be seen gesturing as he stood mid-paddock, planning how the fence would be erected. I would look from afar as he talked (to himself) about what he was planning.
Dad, a dairy farmer for my mother’s sake, was a would-be accountant whose hopes of further education were dashed by an early departure from school. Parents required him to milk cows for the family farm, so, at the age of 12, he left school for good.

Later, Dad’s love of driving took him on the road as he trucked loads of milk around. Nonetheless, Mum’s desire to farm and ‘get on’ provided the impetus for us to be a farming family.

So that’s where it began: 14 cows, 17 acres later, two adults and me, their first child. This became 120 acres and a100 cows as the years passed and the number of children grew to five.

Dad fed the pigs, milked the cows, mowed the hay, buried the dead, sawed the wood and each Sunday drove us all to church. Rarely, he took us further.

My mother operated from the centre of her world: the kitchen, garden and home. Dad orbited around her. She partly shared his world and he hers.

Dad, when bid, issued punishments. His hand would descend, apparently with force, but landed so gently upon us we knew his heart was not in it. This was the same man who responded to, “Fred, it’s time to kill a sheep,” be ignoring each request until Mum became so insistent that he could no longer get out of the job he hated so much – killing.

‘Love’ is the word always in my head when I think of my Dad. His love and laughter permeated my childhood. His head would be thrown back for a happy guffaw to emerge – usually when visitors were with us.

He would sit absolutely still smiling gently while we surrounded him on the sofa combing and brushing his soft whitish hair with the baby’s brush, borrowed for the occasion.

Dad: kind, loving gentle, ever-supportive of my Mum. A man indeed.

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Journey
                   by R.T.

This journey: what did it mean? Unaware I made a decision which took my son on a journey: my choice, I made freely; his, I made for him.

I was assured by my new principal, “He will be fine.” 

Fine he wasn’t. In a new environment with freshly acquired minority status we took up our respective roles in different schools: he – a student; me – a teacher.

The learning that I expected was available in spades: acquiring a new language, te reo; understanding tikanga and mastering a ‘wild west’ environment. The welcome was both warm and accepting (mostly) and forbidding (somewhat).

My journey meant I became part of a new whanau and ultimately extended my own as my son and I were joined by a new partner, a new son and a new baby daughter.

My son’s journey was painful, his initiation excruciating. The day I noticed food in his hair I still did not understand. Only when I found him at home one afternoon did the truth finally emerge.

His teacher had mistreated him which licensed his schoolmates to do the same. Why was there food in his hair? The new(ish) kid had been put upside down into a rubbish bin by his schoolmates.
We did try, that I can say. The school could not resolve the issues and make him safe. His teacher was unable to be the person I needed her to be.

Help was near: a warmly wonderful woman waited at another country school nearby. She became his new teacher, her school and students his new school and classmates. His life grew pink again.

The rugged landscape and culturally rich community changed us.

My son and I will always be ‘Coasties’.
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A writer
                  by R.T.

Born with a pen in my hand – so my mother said, but not until many years later when I was an adult and had long left school.

When did I first feel like a ‘writer’? It was the day we listened to the National Broadcast to Schools in our Form 2 class. I listened fascinated and, unbidden, that night retold at length what I had heard that day.

School – mine at least – was quite a cruel place for learners. It was hard to know where you fitted in as no one said anything to you about the ‘work’. I recall listening to my classmates stutter their way through reading to the class. That was cruel. I was in agony as they struggled to say each word, stood up in class for all to realise how they could not read – and no one to help them improve.
We were left to survive or thrive but whichever it was, we hardly had a way of knowing where we fitted.

Understanding our strengths and weaknesses came gradually as we moved out of school and into life.

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